In 2018, I hit rock bottom... again. My life was turning into this cycle of drinking moderately, then heavily and then not at all. This was another moment where I noticed how heavily I was drinking. I decided to change how I stopped this time. I reached out for help to a therapist and after two months of seeing her, I told her I stopped drinking. Drunk Elizabeth was fun, goofy, chatty (but none of those are abnormal for me). She was also sad, longing for connections, and people who understood her. Drinking never resolved that. I was scared to be without alcohol because I formed a community within the drinking world. I was scared my identity was going to be taken from me and I would just be average, if not boring.

I was wrong. Being alcohol free has shown me something I always knew was there, my personality. I never needed a substance to produce jokes, compassion, or friendships. I am creative, athletic and confident. I can do so much and be who I want to be.

It took sometime to be comfortable going back "out". Whether it was to restaurants and even to bars, because my mind had already made connections. But I've learned that I enjoy being social no matter what I am drinking. Being around drinkers tends to not bother me now because I changed the mental connections to those places. I always set boundaries and allow myself to leave if I become uncomfortable.

I don't want to ever drink again because I truly enjoy being me. I don't want anything blurring me or my memories.

Check out Elizabeth on Instagram here!