Father’s Day Edition: 10 Tips for new dads

  1. Master the dad joke. Critical to this is understanding that the point of the dad joke is to only amuse yourself. Please feel free to use the following to get started - ‘Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, they are too small’

  2. Buy a good coffee machine. You no longer sleep and if you don’t already drink coffee, you soon will.

  3. Buy an SUV. Don’t try and fight this, you are now a family guy. Your dreams of owning a convertible are on hold until your mid-life crisis

  4. Trust yourself. You’ll spend a fair portion of your life questioning whether you’re doing a good job. You are! And your little human loves you for it.

  5. Respect the fact that at some point, it will get overwhelming. Swallow your pride and share your feelings. You’ll feel better for it and you’ll be setting a great example for your little one.

  6. Know the three T’s - time, touch and talk. It’s all your baby needs and you’ll find it’s all you’ve ever wanted as you’re bonding with junior. 

  7. Makeover your wardrobe. You are a dad now and it comes with a uniform - in summer it is polo shirts (preferable golf polos) and chino shorts. In winter, it is long sleeve polo shirts (preferably of the golfing variety) and chinos. You will also need to buy a variety of caps and laceless shoes. You no longer have time to style hair or tie laces

  8. If you are awake, the washing machine must be on. I can’t explain why your darling baby will go through 17 outfits in a day, they just will.

  9. When at the supermarket, buy nappies and wet wipes. You always need them, even if you have plenty. And if you think you can get away without buying them, consider the alternative....

  10. Get a new phone or clear the storage on your current phone. You’ll be taking plenty of photos and videos and you won’t want to miss a thing.

}